âI really feel for Olâ Donald during his period of isolation. I simply cannot imagine a night without the tunes boppinâ, a drink in my hand, and a hot wife to rail, much less two weeks! Itâs truly a tragedy of our generation.â
In a surprise move, the White House announced Wednesday that Attorney General Jeff Sessions had resigned to return to his seasonal gig at Santaâs workshop. In a statement read by Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the administration called Sessionâs departure âregrettable but necessary.â The statement lamented that the Christmas season is starting âearlier and earlierâŠlike, its not even Thanksgiving but CVS is already playing Michael BublĂ© tracks on repeat.â Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein spoke Thursday about the personal impact
At press time, the White House was frantically sandbagging the doors and windows as neat regiments of transgender Navy Seals politely waited outside to have a word with the commander in chief.
But Trump has held firm during this criticism, tweeting out that âshooting journalists is a great activity for our nationâs kids; how else are they going to learn how to get rid of fake news.â
Under the regulation, every American will be required to use a browser extension that translates potentially subversive texts to politically acceptable language, to take effect February 25.
