Morty Threatens to Raise Tuition 3.6% for Every Game Basketball Team Loses
Northwestern Students across campus seem to agree that while the punishment is harsh, it’s the only way to get the basketball team to stop losing.
Tag Archives: tuition hike
Morty Embezzles Endowment Money to Buy All the Samosas Outside Tech
“I noticed Morty barreling down the sidewalk on a forklift that must have been holding at least a thousand samosas. He had a very guilty look on his face, and he gave me $6,000 dollars for promising not to tell anyone.”
Grosse Point Lighthouse Leads Morty’s “S.S. Tuition Raise” Safely to Shore
The maiden voyage of the jewel-encrusted sea vessel had been scheduled for yesterday despite inclement weather warnings.