“To be honest, it is hard to remember what Underwood looked like,” stated Harper Cardinal, “but I do remember he was a virgin and that all of the women liked him a lot.”
The two were seen bundled for warmth underneath the romantic lights of a Fenway Park box.
Despite some red flags—Wright claims that Pines did not even catch the fish he proudly displayed on his primary Tinder photo—she advanced him to the next round.
A tiny Dora sporting devil horns appeared over his right shoulder, chanting “Swiper, no swiping. Swiper, no swiping. SWIPER, NO SWIPING!”
“When I was checking the app on my lunch break, I noticed Doby’s yak had received so many upvotes in so little time. This meant it was serious, so I put my top investigator on the case right away,” Eddington said.