Area Man Has Only Two Dimensions, Cannot Interact With Space and Time As Intended, Ceases To Exist Immediately
“Why would something like this happen to someone so normal?”
Tag Archives: Time
STUDY: Area Student Has Minute to Discuss LGBT Rights
A recent study published by the Northwestern LGBT Alliance showed shows that the average person is available to discuss LGBT rights for, on average, one minute.
Student Group Finds Time to Meet
The five individuals compared schedules day-by-day, searching for one hour at which they would all be free. Finally, two members sacrificed prior commitments to free up one hour on June 16, 2018.
Sophomore Beats Borderlands, Misses Orgo Midterm
Despite knowing that his organic chemistry class had a midterm later that night, di Sol opted for a short game of Borderlands: The Pre Sequel which then devolved into a sixteen-hour time commitment.
Activities Fair Perfect Time to Brush Against Cute Girl’s Ass
EVANSTON—This Monday, freshmen poured into Norris for the Activities Fair, a time-worn Northwestern tradition in which members of the incoming class sign away their inboxes to listserv upon listserv in exchange for free candy. The entire Class of 2013 was successfully crammed into the student center, effectively causing what administrators called “a fire code nightmare.” Some freshmen, however, decided to turn the close-quarters situation into their advantage. Casually walking past the “Germ”any Disease Association, young freshmen like Jeff Lerman moved