It’s not just that he doesn’t care, it’s that he can’t care. How can he be thinking about whatever you two are this Thanksgiving when we all know that come turkey time, there’s only one thing on a guys mind – getting to feel every rib, bump, lump, jiggle and wiggle of that mysteriously gelatinous cranberry sauce with sensory spots he didn’t even know existed.
As a turducken from birth, though, I need the world to understand that we are here. We exist. We deserve to be heard.
We are not sheep, America. WAKE UP!!!
“Do you think China pardons an animal before they consume thousands of members of their species? Of course not, so it’s time for us to stop being a bunch of wusses and slaughter them all.”
Older relatives across the United States are expanding their horizons.
When asked what he liked about Thanksgiving, Winters commented, “I’m not feeling it this year. I mean, politics is crazy: climate change, gun violence, probably something else preventable is happening in Evanston.”
“Uncle Bob just drinks consistently throughout dinner, but occasionally he says ‘Cheers!’ and clinks his wine glass and his vodka tonic together before downing both,” says Brenda.
Your Uncle Luis then stood up and took away the bottle of wine and is said to have reassured the room that this was Lydia’s first time drinking since giving birth to your baby cousin, Tommy.
“Mom made the cranberry pie almost as well as Grandma used to, so by next year it won’t even be noticeable.”
“Do I sometimes get jealous of other rankings and their hot Ivy League partners? Sure. But Morty is my man, and I think Northwestern University is a great school to be with,” the ranking said.