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CBS Execs Confirm R-Rated “Young Sheldon’s Big Bang” Coming March 2024

October 5, 2023 Adam Leif Leave a comment

Despite the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike, CBS executives have announced that “Young Sheldon” star Iain Armitage will appear in an R-rated spinoff movie, “Young Sheldon’s Big Bang”, in March 2024. The movie will feature Armitage as an eighth-year super senior rushing a frat, boofing a keg, and subsequently finding the love of his life in the cancer ward of a hospital. CBS Chief Marketing Officer, Watchmi Mouvi, explained the network’s thought process behind the movie. “You know, when it comes down

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Compass Group Offers NU Dining Union Print-outs of NU Flipside Articles as Health Plan

October 4, 2021 Lucius Veiga Leave a comment

Unfortunately, the articles were so life-threateningly unfunny, they are thought to have been able to transmit dysentery.

Morty Authorizes Drone Strikes On Students Wearing Other Schools’ Apparel

February 17, 2013 Adam Pecena Leave a comment

EVANSTON — Northwestern University President Morton Schapiro announced yesterday afternoon after his annual meeting with President Obama that he found the U.S. President’s tactics using drone strikes against American enemies extremely inspiring. “In fact,” President Schapiro said, “I am releasing an NU executive order right at this moment, and yes, per the latest ASG legislation nobody has read, I can do that, that the university administration is hereby allowed to launch drones against the enemies of the university.” The new