Area Pothead Disappointed to Learn Meaning of “Bowl-Eligible”
Sources confirmed that area pothead Sean Elvin, SESP ’19, was gravely disappointed to learn the real meaning of a “bowl-eligible” football team.
Tag Archives: Stoners
The Truth about Northwestern Skunks
These critters can be seen on a nightly basis wandering around the streets of Evanston. But why are they here? What do they want from us?
California Stoners Too Lazy to Legalize Weed
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Netflix Runs Out of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle on 4/20
LOS GATOS, CA—Users of the popular DVD distribution service Netflix were up in arms on Monday after the company ran out of copies of the popular comedy “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle,” a film popular with stoners all over the globe. “Like, dude,” area Netflix user Ben Mellon told The Flipside, “not seeing “Harold and Kumar” on 4/20 totally messes with my chi. That one scene where they get the White Castle burgers is sweeeeet.” Netflix spokesman Adam
Vending Machines Stocked In Preparation of 4/20
EVANSTON—With April 20th looming, as every year, just on the heels of April 19, vending machines across the country are being restocked and fortified against the impending onslaught of stoners who “could really go for some Ho-Hos right now.” In dorm buildings and break rooms everywhere, vending machine companies are seeking to prepare themselves for the sudden demand for their services that occurs every year on Hitler’s birthday, knowing full well that insufficient preparation could lead to disaster. It is