âOmi-Cron Kenobiâ officially least favorite character in Star Wars/CDC multiverse
Reports from test audiences found Kanobi to âget under peopleâs skinâ.
Tag Archives: Star Wars
Yoda Prime Suspect in âTo Be White Okay It Isâ Sticker Controversy
âFree speech white college kids may strive for, but much larger problems there are for us green-folk. Yes, hrmmmm.â
Princess Leia Feels Awkward at Disney Princess Brunch
Disney Freezes Harrison Ford
BURBANK, CA — The Walt Disney Corporation has announced that it has cryogenically frozen Harrison Ford–who portrayed Han Solo in the popular Star Wars series–in preparation for the next Star Wars movie. Robert Goldberg, a Disney executive, said in a press conference, âWhile Ford is a great actor, we couldnât ignore his old age, and since we donât want him to die on us before we start the filming process, we went ahead with the procedure.â Fans of the Star
Republicans Use Tupac Hologram Technology to Bring Back Reagan
WASHINGTON – After seeing the Star Wars-like hologram of the late rapper Tupac Shakur at Coachella, Republicans were so enticed by the technology that they decided to purchase their own hologram projector. Republicans are using their new machine in the GOP National Office to project Ronald Regan 24/7. Since last Monday, hologram Reagan has been repeating the phrases âCut Taxesâ, âMr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!â, and “Trickle-down economics is good economics!” When asked why the GOP made the purchase,
Saints Linebacker Boba Fett Suspended for Involvement in Bounty System
NEW ORLEANS â The New Orleans Saints’ bounty system has resulted in several suspensions, and today another casualty was added to the tally as linebacker Boba Fett was banned indefinitely for his supposed involvement. Fett, a fourth year player from Tatooine Tech, allegedly delivered vicious hits in exchange for a monetary reward. âI trust that Boba Fett will not make such a mistake again,â warned NFL commissioner Darth Goodell. Goodell explained that the NFL reviewed game footage and found several
Cheney in Wheelchair at Obama’s Inauguration; One Step Forward, Two Steps Back in Becoming Dark Sith Lord
WASHINGTONâLast Tuesday, former Vice President Dick Cheney moved one step closer towards achieving his lifetime goal of becoming a Sith Lord. At President Barack Obamaâs inauguration ceremony, Cheney was seen, for the first time ever, in a wheel chair, a sign immediately recognized by Star Wars fans across the country as an effort to change from somewhat evil political leader to completely evil Sith Lord. âThis move comes straight out of the books,â said Star Wars enthusiast James Clark, âWe