Burnt-Out Senior Joins 200-Level Poetry Class Butt Naked with Poem About the Futility of Higher Education
“Not even a sweatband with his frat’s logo on it to keep his quarantine haircut out of his eyes!”
“Not even a sweatband with his frat’s logo on it to keep his quarantine haircut out of his eyes!”
The senior explained that time gives no preference to hastening or delaying the arrival of any event; that is, the end of the world and commencement are approaching at exactly the same rate.
EVANSTON—To the profound joy of the local senior community, the North Shore Retirement Hotel announced its acquisition of Northwestern’s Pick-Staiger Concert Hall yesterday. North Shore proprietor Bernie Segal explained his decision today in a heavily-attended press conference at Pick-Staiger. “It just seemed like the logical choice,” said Segal. “All of my residents were spending every evening at Pick-Staiger, so now we can save on transportation costs and give our residents the convenience they’ve been demanding.” When asked about the takeover,