“The entire process is really very simple,” explained a confused Cinemark representative, “we just send you a notification through the Duo app, drop you an quick email, ask you to fill out a supplementary google form, and confirm your identity through carrier pigeon. Everything is for your own security!”
“I wasn’t allowed to take in my lucky ear of corn because I couldn’t fit it into a clear plastic bag.”
EVANSTON – Following assignment postings for EPD and campus security personnel in anticipation of 2012 Dillo Day events, Evanston police officer Eric Mills, 29, expressed regret that he would not be stationed at the Lakefill for the Reel Big Fish performance. “I mean, yeah, Cold War Kids are alright and all,” Mills reportedly told his supervisor, “but Cheer Up! was one of my favorite albums back when I was in college. And I can’t think of any better way to
EVANSTON—Northwestern President Morton Schapiro’s convocation address to incoming freshmen was rudely interrupted when Kanye West barged onto the stage and interrupted the speech. The well-known rapper grabbed the microphone from Schapiro’s grip and spoke to the shocked group of freshmen. “I’ve seen crazy things before, but nothing quite like this,” commented freshman John Rennault, “Who would believe that someone as fly as Morton Schapiro would be interrupted in the middle of an address?” After grabbing the mic, West did not