Disaster! Roommate Who Calls Shoes “foot prisons” Begins Caucasian Loc Journey
Maybe the fumes from his annual Burning Man trips gave him brain damage
Tag Archives: roommate
Ask Flippy: How Do I Get My Roommate to Stop Throwing Lube at the Back of My Head?
Another option is to start wearing a CRU branded “Abstinence is the One True Way” chastity belt.
Op-Ed: My Roommate’s Night-Screaming is Oddly Comforting
My roommate’s personality has made Northwestern bearable for me—be it through his humor, spontaneity, determination, or, of course, his oddly comforting night-screaming.
Roommate Mumbles Communist Manifesto in His Sleep
“I’ve never had a history of sleep talking and, more importantly, I’ve never read the damn thing!”
Roommate Actually Does Care If You Hit the Lights
“Every night, he asks so innocently if he can hit the lights, and every night, I casually say it’s okay. But deep down, I actually do care.”
Small Town Freshmen Break Ice Too Awkwardly, Decide to Go Home
EVANSTON – The cutthroat Northwestern academic environment has already proved too high-stress for several members of the Class of 2016, who were sent home during Wildcat Welcome Week after several ill-conceived rounds of icebreakers. Tommy McNamara of Joplin City, Missouri, suffered a mental breakdown when he was only able to come up with two truths and no lie. “It was too weird. I guess it can be hard to come up with something under the gun like that, but still,
Area Student Sexiled to Siberia
EVANSTON—Many residents complain about Chicago’s winter, but last week a local student experienced an inconvenience even worse than a 2 a.m. walk to BK in lake-effect snow conditions. When Northwestern student Greg Conrad left class last Friday he discovered he had been “sexiled” out of the country. Through some sort of miscommunication, Conrad was shipped off to Siberia, a frozen, desolate wasteland, where he survived only on his knowledge of “Man vs. Wild.” Conrad complained, “my roommate texted me being