Back to Back Topical Pop Culture References Solidify Professor as Cool
“She really connects to the experiences of college-age Gen-Z students like no other 60 year old woman I’ve ever met.”
“She really connects to the experiences of college-age Gen-Z students like no other 60 year old woman I’ve ever met.”
“The current plan is to establish a romance between Elsa and Frozone. Then, they’ll both appear in Toy Story 4, in preparation for the big crossover movie we’ve slated for 2022.”
Studies show that this is the 7000thinstance in 2019 of a white man speaking on a topic with irrational confidence despite having little to no knowledge of said topic.
EVANSTON — Struck by a sudden fit of nostalgia while walking to class, Northwestern biology major Keith Catania fondly reminisced about his childhood infatuation with PokĂ©mon Red, Beanie Babies, and The Land Before Time. Reports indicate that not even a single one of Catania’s wistful smiles was in remembrance of a shared human experience over the course of 21 years of life. “God I miss the 90s sooooo much!” Catania posted to Facebook upon arriving at class. The junior then opened an emulator
CLEVELAND, OH — An area cynic has managed to ruin everything from our childhood that we ever looked back fondly on. Over the course of one rambling diatribe that the cynic called “a conversation” he proceeded to poke holes in everything we ever cherished. For example, he really hates 90s television shows and has no shame haughtily telling us so. In his words, “TV is lying to you, man. Clarissa never really does explain it all, does she? Also I
LOS ANGELES—Stephen Hawking was given quite the stir earlier this week as his lead was robbed by some guy named Ted near the end of Wheel of Fortune. As Ted ventured on to accumulate even greater fortune in the Bonus Round, Stephen sat looking shocked and appalled, making guttural noises through his keyboard to express his frustration. “I never heard of this dude before, but he made it real hard for me to win” said Ted. “When he said he