Op-Ed: Sorry That You’re a Former Gifted Child. I’m Still Gifted and Now Also Beautiful.
The difference is for me it’s still true, and I’m extremely popular and good-looking as well.
Tag Archives: parents
Freshman Sends When2meet to Parents for Parents Weekend
“I’m in college now and have so much more responsibility. It’s just more efficient this way.”
Desperate McCormick Senior Accepts “Food Engineering” Position at KFC
Jones stated that his new downtown Toledo office, conveniently located 15 minutes from his childhood home, will provide “an unparalleled experience in the ever-expanding field of deep fry technology”.
Care Package Contains Only a Picture of Your Parents Enjoying Themselves Without You
The picture, taken by a photographer they hired after you moved out and stopped freeloading, shows your parents’ smiling faces more animated and in love than you’ve ever seen them
Area Orphan Not Really Looking Forward to Family Weekend
Multiple sources are reporting that area orphan Nelly Pager, WCAS ’19, is allegedly not terribly excited about the extensive programming Northwestern has planned for its annual Family Weekend.
How to Sexile Your Parents: A Guide to Family Weekend
Learn how to sexile your parents in just three easy steps! Love comes in many forms…
Freshman Starting to Think He Might Want to Call Home This Year
Sources indicate that Goldsmith is currently holding his phone in his hands, weighing the prospect of a healthy conscience against the insufferable high-pitched tone of his mother’s joyful exclamations.
Chicago Freshman “Really Doesn’t Care” His Parents Aren’t Coming to Family Weekend
Layne cited the fact that they never came to any of his little league games or his piano recitals either as reasons why he is “totally chill with my parents skipping out on Family Weekend.”
Stacey’s Cool Mom Is Gonna Have Fun at Dillo
By Stace’s Mom Guys, have you heard they are making guests under 19 have adult chaperones at Dillo this year? Well, since my daughter Stacey (Stace because we’re besties) is only 17, it looks like I’m back on campus, party people! First and foremost, I’m thinking the gals and me’ll start off the day with some dorm “consumption.” Obviously totez discrete. I’m willing to supply if Stace will stop telling me that she hates me and to stop wearing her
Tour Group Perspectives: The Mom Who is Cooler Than Yours
Hey everyone. Is this tour a snooze fest or what? Who cares about the number of libraries, we’re all just here to party. Am I right guys? Who am I kidding? Of course I’m right! I even let my daughter have a party last weekend because she told me she hated me! Hey Stace, how fugly is that girl’s handbag? (I call my daughter Stace because, let’s face it, you can’t call your bestie Stacey #ew.) Anyways, I heard there