Morty Plans Econ Professor Parade Down Sheridan Road
Morty will begin by sequestering all of NUPD (on and off duty) to blockade Sheridan from any traffic for one week before and after the parade
Tag Archives: Parade
Northwestern Feels Awkward Asking Seth Meyers to Come Two Years in a Row
EVANSTON — The six Northwestern students who actually watch Around the Horn rejoiced when the university named J. A. Adande to lead Northwestern’s 2012 Homecoming parade. “This is an event all Northwestern students look forward to, and I could not be more honored to reveal our Homecoming Marshal as… shit, what’s his name?” announced President Morton Schapiro earlier this month. The announcement culminated a long and often frustrating search for an important public figure. “Do you think we’d be coming
Marine Biologist: Two Flippers Way Down for “Dolphin Show”
EVANSTON—After watching the Dolphin Show, in my expert marine biologist opinion, I would give it about one and a half out of a possible five flippers. The show did not suit my fancy, and I was not a dolph-fan. Pardon my dolph-french, but the fact that sea life was so under-represented in a dolphin show sucked blowhole. The only water in the show was the ocean of tears everyone was crying at the end. The closest thing to use of