Op-ed: I Should be Allowed to Kill PeopleïżŒ
Kinda got me thinking: âWhat if he just wasnât alive anymore?â
Tag Archives: op-ed
Op-Ed: Running over someone with a car is okay if you cross your toes while pushing the gas pedalïżŒ
I donât condone violence. I donât condone breaking traffic rules. But I do condone following honor codes typically used by children.
Daily Northwestern To Start Hiring Quality Checkers For Op-Eds: “Whoops. We Forgot”
The statement claimed that the editors of the paper had experienced a âsevere lapse in judgmentâ and that they were âlistening and learningâ from their âoopsie-daisy uh-oh spaghettio 😢â (emoji included in the statement).
Op-Ed: Iâm Going to Live Forever. So Far, So Good.
After the insane number of Zoom lectures that I attended during Covid, I should have died of boredom long ago, but I havenât.
Op-ed: Regular Social Media Doesnât Fuel My Superiority Complex Anymore, So You Can Now Only Find Me on Goodreads and Letterboxd
Itâs important to me that when people stalk me on the internet they think âWow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,â and âDo you think she actually followed what was going on in âInception,â because it kind of seems like it?â
Op-ed: Studies Show Seasonal Depression Affects Nearly 99.99% of College StudentsâŠNot Me, I Have a SAD Lamp. Yâall Stay Safe Though
I have heard nothing but complaints from my friends about not being able to do their homework, or get out of bed, or take a shower, or look at themselves in the mirror for more than three seconds. But not me! Iâm absolutely perfect.
Op-Ed: Unless they can touch his prostate, do NOT market your presents as “Gifts For Him”
If you want to see a manâs face light up, get him something that will leave his legs shaking and booty aching.Â
Op-Ed: I Just Wanted to Echo What the Other Op-Eds Have Already Said
“Piggybacking off of that, I just think the way they phrased it was really well. Well-phrased. Which time?”
Op-Ed: Hey, Those Cars in the Movie Cars Are Fucked Up, Right? Like, Where Are Their Bones?
The godless abominations have tongues, so they clearly consume some sort of food.
Op-Ed: I thought Getting Laid would Solve all my Problems, and it did.
I was lazy, listless, and broken inside, but ever since our night (or really evening) of passion, my life has totally turned around. I got into not one, but two improv groups on campus.