Flipside Previews the Sochi Opening Ceremony
The Flipside presents a list of what to expect from the ceremony, brought to you by a reporter who managed to get an illegal live stream of the ceremony.
Tag Archives: Olympics
Sochi Olympics Debuts New “Extreme” Winter Sports
President Putin has graciously permitted athletes to wear flame-retardant clothing, but notes that only pussies will do so.
North By Northwestern Adding New “Racism” Section
Canadian to World: “Please Don’t Forget Aboot the Olympics, Eh?”
Blagojevich Sells Olympics to Rio
COPENHAGEN—Former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich announced today that Chicago’s fourth-place finish in the 2016 Olympic selection process was actually a preconceived scheme to sell the Olympics to the highest bidder. “I’ve got these Olympics, and they’re fucking golden,” explained Blagojevich. “Almost as golden as a vacant senate seat…or my haircut.” Blagojevich went on to explain his reasoning behind the seemingly ingenious plan. “Chicago sports fans are used to waiting for things,” said the ex-governor. “I mean, look at the Cubs.
A-Phi Mud Olympics More Exciting than AEÎ Mud Olympics
Chicago Out of 2016 Olympic Race after Committee Tours South Side
CHICAGO—The International Olympic Committee’s (IOC) five day tour of the city was cut short late Sunday evening. Members began arriving on Thursday at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport and were welcomed by a colorful display of 2016 Olympic banners and flags. Mayor Daley was on hand for the IOC’s arrival. “We’ve been planning this for a long time. We have to put a lot of time and money into this; we’ll try to impress the [committee] as much as possible. It