Tag Archives: New Student

New Student John Wilkes Booth Suspiciously Good at “Assassins”

EVANSTON—Transfer student John Wilkes Booth has been on an “Assassins” rampage lately, “killing” six targets last night with surprising cunning and skill. As the game comes down to its final players, many are calling Booth the favorite because of his sneak tactics. “He just came out of a supply closet and hit me right between the eyes,” said Shmabraham Shmincoln, one of Booth’s victims. “It was really creepy, now that I think about it. The whole time he had this