Mhapiro was a last-minute addition to the debate, entering with black dye dripping down his forehead and frantically reading a sheet of paper that had the words âhip slang the kids are usingâ Sharpied at the top.
“In Chapter 12, after deciding to hoard even more BINAX-Nowâs by blocking incoming shipments of at-home tests, Fuke Ligora cackles with glee about his evil plan in the office of his supervisor Shorty Mapiro.”
âI never thought I would ever have the urge to call Morty a dame,â said Michael âBut there I was, holding my eyeballs in their sockets so they wouldnât pop out like a Looney Tunes horndog.â
âPlus, this really isnât so differentâMr. Shapiro nibbles on sticks with the best of âem.â
After all, any NU student worth their salt knows the old adage: âmore hose, more woes.â
âIf weâre going to stand a chance against Minnesota and Michigan, weâre going to have to spend more on our stadium,â said defensive lineman Hugo Bigman.
âNot only will every student, professor and administrator be required to change their first and last names to âRyan,â this is now Ryan University, in Ryan, Illinois, and we only have one major â Ryan.â
âI got a vaccine plug from a buddy of mine in Kappa Delta Moderna, and I was just looking to get lit, get wild, and vaccinate some shawties,â
âWe are always looking for more ways to engage the student body in capitalist brainwashing.”
âI think itâs going to hurt the most vulnerable among the Northwestern Community: alumni that name drop Northwestern during every conversation and claim that the Ivy League is âa social construct.ââ