Study Abroad Office Now Offering Summer Trip to Your Mom’s House
Your momās house is proving to be an incredibly popular destination with many Northwestern students.
Tag Archives: Mom
Ask Flippy: Why does my mom still take baths with me? I would much prefer we shower.
“Over the last thirty years, itās gotten to the point where I canāt take it anymore.”
Quarantined 5th Grader Accidentally Calls Mom āTeacherā
āItās so embarrassing how I mistakenly thought the woman who birthed me, nursed me, and raised me was my professional educator.ā
Oedipal Arrangement Terrible Motherās Day Gift
“When she finally woke me up and I saw her in lingerie, I nearly stabbed my eyes out.ā
Child Disintegrates after Disgruntled Mother Confiscates Her Hydrogen Atoms
āThe whole thing really started when she called me a moron. I thought fine, if thatās so funny Iāll just take your boronā, said Mrs. Brantley with a chuckle, who has a dual degree in chemistry and poetry.
ETHS Soccer Moms Disappointed To Learn The Facebook Group They Joined Is Actually A Northwestern “Me-me” Page
āThe woman I thought was Danica, the bitch who brought GMO orange slices to practice last week, revealed herself to actually be some guy from Northwestern.ā
Area Mom Excited To Meet Daughter’s Sugar Daddy This Christmas
āIām so glad I came to Northwesternāthese are the kinds of opportunities only a top-tier university could offer,ā she said, examining her new Cartier diamond watch.
Mom’s Judging Harder to Ignore During Summer
Apart from increased opportunities for face-to-face maternal judgment, sudden discoveries of school-year secrets also contribute to Julyās status as the golden days of parental condescension.
Momās Special Boy Declares Very Unique Major in Economics
After much deliberation, the freshman decided to take a risk and commit to economics, a decision his mother called ābrave and very unique.ā
US Government Spying on Everyone and Their Mom
“It is merely a bug,” insisted NSA Director and US Army General Keith B. Alexander. “Everyone and their mother have never been, are not, and will never be under constant surveillance by the US Government. Probably.”