“It’s just amazing that the Russians still can’t get the easy things right,” said Jim Kelley, a Denver Broncos fan who spent three hours stuck in Secaucus Junction following the conclusion of the Super Bowl.
CLEVELAND, OH — Trans-fat gourmands everywhere mourned the loss of the Hostess Corporation on Friday when the company announced it was closing its factory doors for good. Many middle Americans, including all of the remaining Republicans in Ohio, took a break mid ho-ho bite to blame Barack and Michelle Obama for the confectionary catastrophe. “This is just another example of how Obama is bad for America,” Warren Couty resident Tammy Smith told the Flipside, brushing some cinnamon sugar off her
Not only could I have done a better job checking Paul Ryan’s math by stamping my left hoof, but I probably could have conveyed a better understanding of the American tax-bracket breakdown based on my observations of barnyard social structure.