Midterm Wine-and-Dines Student Before Fucking
News broke out today that a Chem 210 midterm allegedly wine-and-dined local Chemical Engineering major Tom Vogel, MEAS ’19, before relentlessly fucking him over.
Tag Archives: Midterms
Bill Nye Fails Orgo Midterm
Upon arrival in Evanston, Nye was notified of the organic chemistry midterm he would be required to take to remain on Northwestern’s campus.
Election Day “Red Wave” Leaves Behind Millions of Casualties
Casualty estimates have reached 100% for immigrants, 100% for blacks and Mexicans, and 99% for women.
Midterm Elections: The Test No One is Prepared For
“Everyone talks about Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers graduating from NU, but how are we supposed to know about Rahm Emanuel? I’m from here and I didn’t even know Chicago had a mayor,” said sophomore Johnny Howard.
The Ultimate Midterm Study Guide: NU Edition
Can’t figure out a multiple-choice question that gives 4 possible answers to choose from? Simply cross out the 3 incorrect answers and choose the last answer standing, which has to be the correct response!
NUIT Set to Release “Blackboard Down” Just in Time for Midterms
Northwestern’s best are dropped into the Africana collection, but only those with the fastest wifi connections will pass.
Freshman Psych Major Was “Totally Sober,” Only Conducting Research
“I got this idea to test whether people would act differently around me while I was drunk, so I pretended to be drunk,” Taylor added. “I had a few drinks, of course, but only so people would believe that I’d been drinking.”
First Day of Classes Results in Dearth of Flipside Content
“It’s sad we don’t have anything to put on our website today,” agreed President Andrew Schneider. “Our Facebook page is going to have embarrassingly little content on it this week.”
Premed Still Unsure Who Won Election
SOMEWHERE DEEP WITHIN THE RECESSES OF TECH — After spending all of Tuesday night in Tech Library studying for his Orgo midterm, freshman Justin Forster emerged earlier today completely unaware of who won the presidential election. “Oh shit,” said a disheveled Forster when reached for comment. “I-I guess I was so worried about [studying] that I just completely forgot [the election] was happening. I’m not even sure how long I’ve been in there for.” Forster went on to explain that
History Teacher a Real Dickwad for Scheduling Test the Monday after Halloween Weekend
By Harry Barbash, Sophomore Economics Major What the fuck, Professor Donaghy? Do you have any idea what happened this last weekend? You think there was time to study for a midterm about the Celts in the 11th century? Because there sure as shit was not. Let’s start with the obvious. Halloween is the peak time for drunken revelry. Halloween just sweetens the crowded-apartment-party pot. Hookups become even more anonymous as you grind up on whatever masked person’s behind you. Alcohol