âFrom day one, we wanted to create a Dillo Day for everyone,â said Bailee
Golden, Mayfestâs Diversity and Inclusion chair. âHaving the multi-lingual Duolingo owl as our âethnic opener,â if you will, is going to ensure that this Dillo isnât just for privileged English-speakers.â
âI just canât get no satisfaction,â says the impersonator who vaguely resembles Mick Jagger.
âNothing better represents the Dillo Day spirit than the Easter Island head that Squidward lives in.”
In situations where she might find herself saying, âyouâll never guess whoâs going to be on the Main Stage this year!â or âGuys, I have literally wanted a Ferris wheel on the Lakefill since I was born,â she now just stands there without making a peep.
âAfter the event, we can just take a big net and scoop everybody into it. Just grab each personâs Wildcard information and send them home.”
âJesus fucking Christ, please tell me this isnât happening,â Jason Rothman (WCAS â19) said as he shook his head in dismay.
Mayfest released a statement this week regarding the addition: âWe know that not everyone wants to listen to random bands and rappers that they sort of vaguely know, so, we decided to bring in those podcasters that youâve been meaning to listen to but just havenât had the time lately.â
Reports from Mayfest sources indicate that Joey Badass will join Daniel Caesar, Whitney, and Young the Giant in the lineup for Dillo Day on June 2.
The ranking, which will be displayed right below the â5th Best Diningâ award on Northwesternâs Wall of Mediocre Achievements, came as a great surprise to the campus community.
Most members of Mayfest have agreed that if Dillo is only rained out, they can deal with more âFuck Mayfestâ messages. One member said they had gotten used to it and even kind of missed it.