Ask Flippy: My Dad Finally Came Back After 17 Years, Is He Telling the Truth When He Says He’s a Cicada?
“My dad claimed that he is a cicada and that he needed to hibernate for 17 years.”
Tag Archives: Life
Graduating Senior Doesn’t Have Plans for Summer, Life
“I might end up spending summer bumming around, or working that godforsaken Auntie Anne kiosk again, and maybe I’ll keep doing that forever.”
[Future Issue: 2161] Evidence of Life Discovered in Mexico
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Scientists have observed the presence of single-celled organisms in Mexico, inviting speculation that the arid wasteland may have sustained life at some point in the past, and could possibly be colonized in the future. Scientists were quick to caution against unbridled enthusiasm, noting that while thermal imaging has identified possible sources of water just under the surface, probe results have indicated that the soil is an estimated 40% benzoylmethylecgonine (cocaine) and 30% concentrated lead. The new discovery
NU Day at Wrigley Causes Students to Question Merits of Cubs, Fans, Life
CHICAGO—Somewhere between Alfonso Soriano striking out and purchasing a hot dog for $6, most of the 800 Northwestern students at the Cubs-Marlins game began to wonder what the point of it all was. “Being the lovable losers is nice,” said New York native sophomore Nate Atkins of the 14-18 Cubs, who haven’t won an MLB championship since 1908. “But what are they ultimately losing?” “Nothing,” Atkins added. Tucked away in the corner of Wrigley Field—a field so steeped in tradition
Opinion: New Facebook Has Ruined My Life
Well isn’t this just great? My life was finally starting to get on track. I was just beginning to like my job and I was actually making money in the stock market, if you can believe that. Then, all of a sudden, I come home, start up my Mac Book Pro, and boom, Facebook completely flips a shit! Does my life suck or what? Facebook doesn’t care “what’s on my mind.” If they really cared, they’d change back to the