Tag Archives: Jersey Shore

Tanorexia a Growing Concern for Uprooted Guidos

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MTVā€™s Jersey Shore Cast Raises Awareness for Spreading Medical Concern SEASIDE HEIGHTS ā€” While culture critics have decried Jersey Shore as “inane,” the season premiere of the reality show has brought an important health issue facing young Americans to the public consciousness. In Italy, a country famous for its cold climate and harsh terrain, Mike, Vinny, Pauly D, and the rest of the cast have suffered from “tanorexia,” struggling to maintain an even burnt-orange base-coat last season. The seriousness of

Read more Entertainment, No. 71

‘Snooki’ Denied Role as Oompa Loompa in Wonka remake

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JERSEY SHOREā€”Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, a cast member of MTV’s popular reality series “The Jersey Shore,” has been denied a role in the Broadway remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, after much speculation. Casting directors, who have already picked Rosie O’Donnell for the role of Augustus Gloop, stated that Snooki was just “too orange and too short.” Being denied a callback has been rough on Snookers, particularly since she received the rejection letter just hours after Ron “Ronnie” Magro

Read more Entertainment, Issue 25, Year 2

ZOMBIE ISSUE: Lack of Brains Ensures Safety of Jersey Shore Cast

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MIAMI, FL ā€” Much to the relief of Jersey Shore fans everywhere, it has been confirmed that due to the lack of brains to be had throughout the group, they will all most likely be safe during the zombie apocalypse. So will the people who watch the show. When asked how she felt about being able to survive the zombies, Snookiā€™s immediate response was, ā€œBehhhhhhhh. Are any of them gorilla juiceheads?ā€ Jwoww agreed, but was upset that the zombies would

Read more Articles, Entertainment, No. 46