Mayoral Candidate Passes the “Who Would I Shoot Heroin With?” Test
“When I look through all of these candidates, I just see a bunch of old out-of-touch men I’d never want to shoot heroin with, but Quinn is something different.”
Tag Archives: Heroin
Flappy Bird More Addictive Than Hard Drugs; Schapiro to Ban It at NU
“Due to the drastic levels of Flappy Bird being played on this campus, I’m instituting threat level DEFCON 0.003. In other words, this is the most serious threat to our Northwestern community since classes were held during the polar vortex.”