NRA Sues Columbia for Using Trigger Warnings
The National Rifle Association decided this past Tuesday to file a formal lawsuit against Columbia University for their embrace of trigger warnings.
Tag Archives: Guns
“The Most Dangerous Biathlon” Disappoints Spectators with Only Twelve Deaths
The event has an illustrious history dating back to the 1960 Winter Games in California, when Olympic host and US Vice President Richard Nixon personally wiped three names off of his Enemies List.
NU Archives’ Best Dead People: Frances Willard
Willard is the namesake of Willard Residential College, the site of her famous duel with Mortimer Schapiroose. What began as a simple argument escalated into a life-or-death shootout.
NRA Denounces 3D-Printed Guns as Deadly, Free
NASHVILLE, TN — NRA Executive Vice President/Walking Effigy Wayne LaPierre took to the stage today to thoroughly denounce the recent spate of “3D-printed” guns as irresponsible, deadly, and a major unchecked threat to the security of his end of year bonus. Speaking to a rapt, ravenous audience of gun owners who seemingly didn’t have anywhere else to be on a Monday afternoon, LaPierre framed the plastic, largely-untraceable devices (which could become increasingly problematic as the price of 3D printers drop)
NRA Lobbyist Forced to Undergo Background Check Before Purchasing Congressman
WASHINGTON –- NRA lobbyist Jack O’Neal fumed yesterday upon learning that he would be forced to undergo an extensive background check and 5-day waiting period before purchasing a new Congressman. O’Neal, an avid collector of US representatives, claims to have purchased eight senators in the past, and proudly boasts that not a single one has been registered with the proper authorities. “I fuckin’ knew it!” O’Neal reportedly ranted to anyone in earshot. “I knew Obama was comin’ for my senators!