Kamala Harris Launches New Podcast: “Call Her Mamala”
In response, Trump has also launched his own podcast: “Call Me God.”
Tag Archives: God
The ScrubFamily is Pregnant!
The ScrubDaddy is the greatest thing to grace this Earth since the SquattyPotty which is the greatest thing since air conditioning. When God created Daddy, soap squirted and bubbles blew. That was long ago, but more recently, ScrubDaddy found his Eve. ScrubMommy is a straight-up hottie. Pretty and usually pink. When she’s not, that’s okay; all colors are welcome. She has Daddy’s original scrubber, but also a sponge side because women are the modded version of men. She’s dual-sided because
BREAKING: Pete Davidson Now Dating God, States: “She’s Fine In Bed, I Guess”
When asked to comment, the stand-up comic maintained that a gentleman “never bangs our Lord and tells”.
God Annoyed With Amount Of Prayers For Release Of ‘Avengers 4’ Trailer
In an unexpected press release, God stated that he has become “sick and tired” of the “millions of prayers asking to release the trailer for the new ‘Avengers’ movie.” Earlier this week, a series of chiseled, stone tablets from Yahweh himself were found on the altar at the Sistine Chapel. Once they were translated from Latin, they revealed the Almighty’s distaste for his new workload. “Every single day, I sit and I listen to prayers asking the same things: ‘Can
New Executive Order Is Just Book of Leviticus
At press time, President Trump had already cancelled the executive order after realizing that it would have banned slander, lying, showing partiality to the rich, and of course, letting your hair become unkempt.
Freshman Sees God through Complimentary Cru Glasses
“The sunglasses definitely drew me in, but then I was being asked if I wanted a personal relationship with God in order to rid me of my sins, and I thought, ‘why the hell not?’”
God Sics Plague of Prospies on Norris
The prospies seem to act as if they were a swarm of locusts, reducing access to campus’s vital sustenance such as Starbucks iced coffee and Subway sandwiches.
God Denies Ever Creating Ken Ham
“The Bible says I said ‘let there be light,’ not ‘let there be Ken Ham,’” God wrote in a brief statement to the press.
Edzo’s Open for Dinner; ‘You’re Welcome,’ Says God
“Ask and ye shall receive, bitch,” added the King of Kings, putting His feet up on His heavenly footstool.
Atheist Churches Declare Crusade to Reclaim Washington D.C.
“Forget the body and blood of Christ,” says atheist church-goer Bobby Anderson. “Cookies and beer are way better.” The movement, which began in the United Kingdom as something for atheists to do on Sunday mornings until restaurants opened for brunch, is now a worldwide phenomenon.