Nu Marriage Pact Runs Out of Men, Unintentionally Doubles Lesbian Population
“It’s gotten so bad that I have mistaken multiple twinks for baddies”
Tag Archives: frats
White NU Students Excited to Abolish Greek Life and Oversee the Construction of Near-Identical Social Groups
Well known for their prompt correction of social issues, fraternities and sororities immediately responded to the situation once they reached the adequate threshold of personal shame.
Frat Attracts Early Morning Tailgaters with Continental Breakfast
“I felt like I was dining in a Holiday Inn Express and not freezing in a muddy backyard covered with tarps and half-empty beer cans.”
Frats to Offer Drinkable Beer
“We think that by drinking Pilsner and Rauchbier, everyone will get to experience the exquisite taste of what fraternity life has to offer. It’s essentially an upgrade from piss to something actually delightful.”
Frats Changing “Bigs” to “Daddies” in Uncomfortable Move
Both Greek and non-Greek students have disclosed to Flipside feeling squeamish about the rebranding effort, calling it “confusing, both sexually and otherwise.”
5 Philanthropy Event Names Guaranteed to Not Offend Anyone
To help student groups, the Flipside has come up with philanthropy event themes that are creative, fun, and most importantly, completely inoffensive.
Daily Northwestern Uncovers Daily Northwestern Hazing Scandal
From paddles to keg-stands, boxing to nudity, and interviews with Mayor Tisdahl to covering Northwestern Football, it seems the directors of The Daily stopped at nothing to torture their new reporters.
Cop Gets Denied at the Door of Tappa Tappa Keg
EVANSTON — Police officer Bob Hankervich went to the frat quad this previous Saturday night to investigate reports of underage drinking. As he walked up the stairs to the frat in question, Tappa Tappa Keg junior George Kerry got ready to deny another dweeb. The cop approached Kerry assuming he would step aside, but instead he stood firmly in front of the door and offered a “what’s up bro?” with an introductory head nod. According to Northwestern Police records, Hankervich
“Homeless Joe” Definitely Going To Rush
EVANSTON — Northwestern fraternities have recently begun their weekly tradition of Sunday night dinners, and hundreds of freshman have attended to get free food and flirt with frat brothers. The race for bids has begun, and one freshman has emerged as the top recruit. Nicknamed “Homeless Joe,” this enterprising, genial, and most of all hungry freshman has been sighted at nearly every single frat and dinner. Reports say Joe usually arrives at the frats alone, but he does bring his
World Bank Hazes the Shit out of New President
Kim was forced to consume copious amounts of alcohol, run around the National Mall half naked while blindfolded, drink a gallon of milk mixed with water from the Potomac River, deny emergency loan requests from Angola, and be quizzed on facts of the founding of the institution.