Ode on the 10:34 Shuttle
What drunken tales haunt thy seats
Of poorly conceived mixer themes
and awkward hookups, or of both,
In Allison or the frat house?
What men or frat stars are these? What maidens put out?
Tag Archives: Frat
Freshman Girl Falls into Sweat-Induced Coma at Frat Party
“When we got to the house she kept complaining about how hot and crowded it was. She even took off her monogrammed J.Crew cardi and draped it over her shoulders, even though I told her it made her look like a DAR member,” said the girl’s roommate.
Editorial from a Prospie: āYou Guys, I Totally Drinkā
Hey guys! Sorry, Iām little hungover from the two handles of beer I had last night. I mean, that doesnāt even compare to the time my mom bought me vodka. I had three shots! Shit got so crazy, I canāt even tell you. (Except Iām going to tell you.) So me and my bros were just chilling when my ārents were out to dinner, and we were getting kind of bored so I was like, “Yo, bros, letās get schwasty.”
Sororities Add “Pledge Stepdad” to Pledge Families
EVANSTON — The umbrella organizations responsible for Greek life at Northwestern, IFC, MGC, NPHC, and PHA, announced in a joint statement this morning that they will be adding one more role to the nuclear pledge family unit. “In addition to the traditional roles of pledge parents, children, and siblings, the new role of the pledge stepdad will be integrated in to the already rich structure of our Greek life organizations,” said Anita Jackson, spokeswoman for the Panhellenic Association. According to
[Graduation Issue] Senior Turns in Thesis Statement
āIām so good at thesises,ā said Weinberg Senior Kevin Pandolph. āBut I hate writing the rest of the paper. I canāt believe you can get honors just for writing a thesis!ā
Frat Kicked off Campus for Forcing Pledges to Go to Class
EVANSTON – Three years ago, Northwestern fraternity Epsilon Delta Upsilon was put on probation for what the University described as “academic harassment”. Apparently, the warning wasn’t enough, as the fraternity has been disbanded for unspecified transgressions as of earlier this afternoon. This marks the third time in ten years that a fraternity has been kicked off campus for incidences of hazing. Although hazing rituals are all but a universally accepted truth in fraternity life, faculty and students alike are shocked
10 Points for Hufflepuff: A Magical Account of a Freshman’s Halloween Night
The following document was discovered on the bathroom floor of the North-Mid Quads Hall on the morning of November 1, 2011. Written in a hurried scrawl on parchment, our editors did their best to decipher the piece, allegedly written after the local Psi-Phi Fraternityās themed party: I think the scar really did the trick. Through the glow of the club lights, I could tell Beth was down for some snogging. We locked eyes from across the room, she in her