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Tag Archives: Florida
Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog! Goofy Trapped In Industrial Oven At Keebler Factory
Goofy, the beloved ensemble member of Disneyâs Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and various other properties, has been trapped inside of an industrial oven at the Keebler Factory. The titular performer and father of one called 911 at 8:32 A.M this morning, emergency services shared. This strange circumstance follows weeks of tension and political hostility in Florida, where Governor Ron DeSantis has attempted to uproot the Walt Disney Company by removing their tax exempt status and arresting a Stitch mascot, who was
Marlins Owners Disappointed to Learn People Can Understand What Ozzie Guillen is Saying
MIAMI, FL â Miami Marlins ownership was shocked this week to learn not only does Ozzie Guillen speak English, but that people can actually understand what he is saying. It was only after this already shocking revelation that Marlins Owner Jeffery Loria realized that Guillen praised one of the worldâs worst dictators. âWe specifically hired a manager who could speak the language of our players,â Loria said. âWe did not realize he also spoke English.â âItâs pretty disappointing,â Loria added.
FL Pastor Plans to Burn âAudacity of Hopeâ
âWe here at Unity and Peace (For All White, Straight, Christians [excluding Catholics]) Church believe that it is just unconstitutional to have a Muslim president,â Jones said. âNot to mention heâs not even an American Citizen!â
NU Students Sue University for Misuse of Word âSpringâ
EVANSTONâIn a press release issued late last week, a previously unknown coalition of Northwestern students from California and Florida announced that they would be suing the University for âmisuse of the word âspringâ.â This legal action comes after the discovery that weather during Spring Quarter was neither warm nor sunny. âItâs just not fair,â whined a member of the group who spoke to The Flipside on condition of anonymity. âWhen I saw the words âSpring Quarter,â I assumed that it