Man Revolutionizes High-Five Game By Going Too Slow First
On November 8th, 2023, the world shook as a fundamental rule was broken. Children cried, priests prayed, and citizens everywhere trembled in the face of potential ruin…
Tag Archives: enlightenment
Op-Ed: My Parents Announced their Divorce, but it’s a Bones Day? A How-to on Navigating Noodle’s Wicked Ways
After reaching out to the pug, who refused to comment, I sat under a tree for 49 days, wailing and tearing my hair, until I reached enlightenment.
Area Douchebag Turns to Kant in Times of Crisis
His classmates can’t wait for him to go to a small liberal arts college, where he’ll eventually become philosophy professor and never be heard from again.