Tag Archives: Elon Musk

Trump Appoints Young Sheldon as Head of Homeland Security

Since November 5th, the president-elect has made several controversial picks for top positions, including Elon Musk heading the so-called “Department of Government Efficiency” (DOGE). However, even many in Trump’s inner circle have objected to his latest and boldest choice: a literal fourteen-year-old child as Secretary of Homeland Security. Sheldon Lee Cooper, of Medford, Texas, turned down a Ph.D. in physics at Caltech to join the incoming administration, saying that “the decision was a no-brainer after Meemaw took me to visit

Congress Decides to Choose Speaker of the House Based on Twitter Poll

Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi expressed concern over this strategy of selection. “I’m just worried that if a Democrat wins, Republicans will throw another tantrum,” she remarked, trying to frantically re-download the app, but instead downloading Grindr. After hearing this statement, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert threw herself on the House Floor and began kicking and screaming.