[Denial Issue] It’s Not Alcoholism, I Swear
What, are you all going to lord my mistakes over me just because I commit them on a weekly basis?
Tag Archives: Drunk
POINT / COUNTERPOINT: NUDM Registration
With registration for Northwestern University’s 40th annual Dance Marathon closing Oct. 25, many students are debating the merits of dancing for 30 hours. The Flipside asked proponents of two opposing viewpoints to present a list of reasons for and against participating in DM.
Freshman Psych Major Was “Totally Sober,” Only Conducting Research
“I got this idea to test whether people would act differently around me while I was drunk, so I pretended to be drunk,” Taylor added. “I had a few drinks, of course, but only so people would believe that I’d been drinking.”
You Better Fucking Believe There are Girls at This Party, Sources Say
According to sources deep in the heart of the fraternity quad, you better go all-in on that party tonight, because wow, is there some serious babe-age over there.
Yes, I Was Drunk at Convocation. What of It?
I told myself I would only have a couple drinks. Just enough to ease my nerves for the convocation speech, you know? But PTI kept handing me shot after shot. She may not look it, but let me tell you, PTI can really throw it down.
SESP Junior to Lose Hope for Humanity after Attending Dillo Day Sober
THE LAKEFILL — At approximately 3:37 PM, June 1 2013, SESP Junior Michelle Cunningham will lose all hope for humanity after making the tragic mistake of attending a Dillo Day performance completely sober. Without the ignorant bliss afforded by alcohol-impaired facilities, Cunningham will be able to accurately perceive the Hieronymus Bosch-styled carnival of nightmares that we affectionately refer to as “Mayfest.” As recently as her 21st birthday celebration last month, Cunningham, who hopes to one day teach middle school English,
Back agin bitjes, DILLOOO
Editor’s note: This article was written by an actual drunk student, and, as such, has been left completely unedited. itss been too long since we’ve published a drink article, (auto-correct) dillo day for reals, typing on my phone. More later. Aaaand some chick is throwing up in the byshes pre 11am. Classsss. Some lady just asked me of I could see her flask. I couldn’t. We’re friends now. I forgot to tell you Chet haze grabbed my friends butt true story bro. Gah
Police Arrest ‘78 Alumna for “Tryna Get Shwasty” at Homecoming
EVANSTON — Eileen Schneider, WCAS ’78, was arrested this weekend for belligerent behavior and public indecency during a homecoming event on Deering Meadow, according to new reports from the Evanston Police Department. She had been yelling obscenities across the meadow and flashing gentlemen coming in and out of Kellogg. Schneider was stunned by her arrest and by the harsh campus rules that have “poisoned this university.” “I was just tryna get a little shwasty up on Sheridan,” Schneider said as
History Teacher a Real Dickwad for Scheduling Test the Monday after Halloween Weekend
By Harry Barbash, Sophomore Economics Major What the fuck, Professor Donaghy? Do you have any idea what happened this last weekend? You think there was time to study for a midterm about the Celts in the 11th century? Because there sure as shit was not. Let’s start with the obvious. Halloween is the peak time for drunken revelry. Halloween just sweetens the crowded-apartment-party pot. Hookups become even more anonymous as you grind up on whatever masked person’s behind you. Alcohol
Allison Hall Government Plans Big Changes, “No Longer a Party Dorm”
EVANSTON – Newly elected representatives of Allison’s Hall Government have vowed to eliminate the dorm’s dastardly culture of constant intoxicated debauchery. Social Chair Cam Speller stated, “Residents were tired of the way Allison was, two people drunkenly stumbling down a hallway at midnight, occasional noise past 10 PM… I ran on the promise to change that.” Residents agreed; Weinberg freshman Max Turning of the second floor commented, “We thought that having strict CSOs would solve this problem; unfortunately, Allison is