Obama Vows to Bring Tampons to Next Debate
Tag Archives: Debate
Campus Literally in Toilet After Debate Drinking Games
EVANSTON – The Northwestern custodial staff reported Friday that 85% of all toilets, including urinals, in Northwestern dormitories became clogged on Wednesday night between 8 and 11 PM. The rules for several Presidential debate drinking games had been circling around campus in the days prior to the debate. One group of drinkers reported the following guidelines: drinking if either candidate argues with the moderator, drinking if either candidate addresses his opponent in the third person, drinking if Obama falls asleep
China Decrees All Sesame Street Episodes Must Include Chinese Lessons
BEIJING – Chinese officials were surprised to learn Thursday morning that their indirect funding of PBS grants them the power to determine the content of Sesame Street episodes. Mitt Romney alerted the world to this fact during Wednesday night’s presidential debate, when he promised, “I will eliminate all programs that don’t pass this test: is the program so critical it’s worth borrowing money from China to pay for it? I’m sorry, Jim, I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS.
Point-Counterpoint: Should the Debate Team Celebrate Their Victory with a Party?
The Debate Team Deserves a Party! By Clare Roth OH HELL YES we gon’ party. (Like it’s our birthdays, gonna sip Barcardi like it’s our—wait, hold up those are the lyrics right? Yes? No? That shit was my jam back at the 7th grade parties) As you will see by the end of this debate, the answer is clear that we, the winning Northwestern Debate Team, should have a party. I’ll break it down for you. We never have anything