What a quarter this has been. From late nights ripping my hair out behind a bookshelf in Core, to late nights ripping my hair out in the corner of the quiet section in Mudd, I truly feel like I’ve reached the limit of what I’m going to accomplish at Northwestern. This has all brought me to one conclusion: I could die and nothing on this campus would change. If I got rolled over by a steam roller, I’d just be
Steam is hotter than boiling water, after all: who knows what kind of damage I sustained…
“I also told him to ‘shoot quickly’ because the camera was low on battery, but I guess he misinterpreted that part, too.”
“Mom made the cranberry pie almost as well as Grandma used to, so by next year it won’t even be noticeable.”
The series has been around for so long that critics aren’t sure what new material Hillary 4: Apocalypse Unleashed can offer.
“What really put me over the edge was a scary clown handing me my CHEM 212 grade and saying, ‘Oh no, I guess mommy’s little boy won’t be a doctor after all!’”
The cast dispersed quickly and none were harmed. Once they all went into their dressing rooms, they were far enough away from each other to keep things at a safe, inflammable level.
If they even got David Bowie, they would probably find some way to fuck it up. David Bowie’s time is precious and he would not waste any of it working with amateurs.
Sources are reporting Thorson’s roommate found his body and called the police at approximately 7:35 PM, Thursday evening.
Community mourns beloved lemur. Contemplates death and 90’s childhood.