State of the Union Bumped for Sitcom Rerun
Head speechwriter Milton Hart has hinted at a possible cliffhanger ending that will leave a “fan-favorite” Cabinet member dead.
Head speechwriter Milton Hart has hinted at a possible cliffhanger ending that will leave a “fan-favorite” Cabinet member dead.
THE LAKEFILL — At approximately 3:37 PM, June 1 2013, SESP Junior Michelle Cunningham will lose all hope for humanity after making the tragic mistake of attending a Dillo Day performance completely sober. Without the ignorant bliss afforded by alcohol-impaired facilities, Cunningham will be able to accurately perceive the Hieronymus Bosch-styled carnival of nightmares that we affectionately refer to as “Mayfest.” As recently as her 21st birthday celebration last month, Cunningham, who hopes to one day teach middle school English,
“The real world is gonna hit these poor schmucks like a sack of bricks,” Shamberg noted, sneaking sips from a hip-flask between questions.