“There’s something huge in those files. Maybe it’s just that the landscaping contractors skim some off the top, but maybe there’s something they don’t want us to know.”
EVANSTON – The “Nothing Happened” Rock is an inconspicuous pinkish rock near Annie May Swift Hall that decrees that “On this site in 1897 Nothing Happened.” The mysterious and perplexing rock has captured the attention of Weinberg senior Andy Atkins, an anthropology and geology double major, who has been studying the rock for three years. Atkins believes that the rock covers a secret entrance to Northwestern’s underground society, Deru. “I never trusted that shady group,” said Atkins, “and when I
In a completely understandable move in the midst of the largest recession of the past seventy years, the US Federal Government gave $300,000 to Northwestern’s Campus Coalition on Sexual Violence. Spokesperson for the US Department of Justice, Paul Barts, commented that the use of the funds was absolutely, totally legitimate, as politicians and governmental workers never take bribes or keep people quiet with money. Joseph Gupta, the head of a campus group called United Conspiracy Theorists, says the money is