Wolf Blitzer Shouts “Breaking News” Before Taking Shit
Members of his family have repeatedly tried to help Blitzer break his “bad habit,” but all attempts at doing so have been fruitless.
Tag Archives: CNN
BREAKING: Caitlyn Jenner Just Sneezed
Following her famous photoshoot for Vanity Fair, media sources have confirmed that Caitlyn Jenner has indeed just sneezed.
CNN Sees US Airways Tweet, Declares “Flight 370 Found”
CNN Planning Terrorist Attack to Ensure They Get the Facts Right This Time
ATLANTA, GA — Following their botched reporting of last Tuesday’s Boston Marathon bombings, during which the once-venerable network continually reported unverified (and untrue) claims as fact, cable news outlet CNN has announced a controversial plan to formulate and launch a terrorist attack on US soil. Cable News Network’s parent company Time Warner hopes that by planning and executing a deadly, meticulous strike themselves, CNN’s reporters will actually be able to get the facts right this time. According to verified sources
CNN Editor Checks Al-Jazeera to See if Anything Interesting Happened During the Debate
Pat Fitzgerald Arrested for Acts of Humanitarianism
“[T]he legacy of Northwestern football will no longer be defined by mediocre success but rather by the monstrosities of one man’s actions.”