King Charles III Asks To Simply Go By “Charli3” After Starting “Herb” Treatments For Cancer.
Reports from inside Buckingham Palace reveal other contenders included “His Royal HIGHness,” “Char-Char Binks,” and “Kush Charles.”
Tag Archives: Cancer
Disturbing New Study Shows Placing Head Inside Running Microwave Oven May Be Linked to Cancer
Putting one’s head inside a running microwave could allegedly, maybe, possibly cause cancer.
Study: Students Who Don’t Buy Hot Dogs Love Cancer
This overthrows the previous assumption that individuals who chose to not buy hot dogs either didn’t like hot dogs or did not have the $2 necessary to purchase one.
REPORT: $2 Hotdogs More Likely to Cause Cancer than Cure It
The study, authored by Dr. Kevin Fisher, stunned the medical community by hypothesizing a correlation between consumption of pork by-product and negative health effects, regardless of any charitable intent behind consuming said pork by-product.
Former Heavyweight Champ Joe Frazier Dies after Fight with Liver Cancer
EVANSTON – In a shocking turn of events, boxing icon Joe Frazier finally succumbed to his injuries sustained from liver cancer this past Monday. Although many know of his exploits on the canvas, few are aware that the 5’11” champ was hell-bent on “taking out cancer”. Shortly after he retired, and against the direct advice of many professionals, he began a campaign to “beat cancer the only way I know how: with my fists”. Frazier became notorious in certain hospital circles
NU Premed Student Cures Cancer, Receives C Grade
EVANSTON—Jason Fisher, an NU Premed student, was shocked when his midterm paper, entitled “Finding the Cure for Cancer”, received a C grade from his professor, Jeffrey Malloy. The paper, which kept Fisher locked in his room for three sleepless nights until its completion, outlines a radical new method that, when applied to lab rats, was successfully able to cause remission of cancer-causing oncogenes. “To tell the truth,” a dreary-eyed Fisher lamented, “I thought the paper was pretty sick. I guess