Immediately following Trudeau’s resignation as Canada’s Prime Minister, he was spotted stalking up on shades of foundation and concealer that a panicked Sephora representative said “totally did not match his skin tone.”
Canadian McGriff fails to make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Oh, no Canada.
Colby told reporters. “I don’t feel like I should get excited about the leader of a country inferior to mine, eh?”
“It’s unfair that hardworking people are denied the right to stay here and help our nation,” said Jennifer Jones, a self-proclaimed diehard Belieber. “Justin Bieber came here to live the American Dream. Why should our country deny him that right?”
Professor Arthur Butz, Holocaust denier, and Professor Ari Silverman, Arthur Butz denier, square off on whether NU should offer study abroad options with our northerly neighbors.
EVANSTON—SEED, or Students for Ecological and Environmental Development, ended the problem of global warming Sunday, Oct. 10, by hanging up the laundry outside Norris University Center. “This was a very unexpected result!” exclaimed SEED member Ann Temnoriv. “I think it had something to do with the fact that the clothes were hung up in the shape of a giant 350.” Dropping temperatures across the northern United States and Canada confirmed SEED’s suspicion. In the last week alone, many Northwestern students
FORT KENT, ME—In a stunning turn of events from the White House this past week, the president has been partially pulled back to the border debates of yesteryear with the latest in the shocking development that yet another Canadian had made it past the notorious 5 foot stretch between Canada and the US known in some circles as “The Maple Express.” This is the first time in this millennium that one of our “snowy brethren” from the north has made