Iran Releases List of 52 American Cultural Sites to Bomb, 43 Burger King Locations, Other 9 Jimmy John’s
Some of America’s most coveted cultural traditions find their roots in a handful of these Burger King locales.
Tag Archives: Burger King
No, Taylor Swift is NOT the Highest Grossing Burger King Franchise in the Nation
“Man, I could’ve sworn ten-time Grammy award-winning singer/songwriter Taylor Swift was actually an Evanston-based Burger King making $8,000 a week.”
Burger King To Be Open 25 Hours On 4/20
“After this 4/20, Burger King will become Burger Emperor.”
The Flipside’s Guide to Embracing Purple
Feel the purple grumble through your digestive system and challenge your colon with artificial coloring galore!
ASG Passes Sweeping Frontera Fresco Line Reform
EVANSTON — After the 2012 student surveys, both North Campus and South Campus members of the Associated Student Government reached an agreement to curb long lines at Frontera Fresco. The compromise represented a significant policy shift for North Campus members in order to appease their more liberal counterparts. “There’s clearly a change in demographics,” said North Campus Minority Leader Mitch Levy. His party has typically supported old-fashioned gender policies (through single-sex Greek houses), advanced interrogation (hazing), and the opposition of
[Future Issue: 2161] BK Introduces Extra-Super-Jumbo-Biggie-Large Size
EVANSTON – In an effort to keep up with McDonald’s Super-Duper combo size, Burger King recently introduced the Extra-Super-Jumbo-Biggie-Large size. This new gigantic portion of food features a 3-pound bag of fries and a 136-ounce bucket of your favorite soft drink to complement your burger. Burger King CEO Mike Borowitz is pleased with the new size’s large success since its unveiling in Evanston last Friday, adding that the board of trustees knew the town would be the perfect neighborhood for
Evanston Vampires Pretty Damn Tired of Spending All Their Time at Burger King
EVANSTON—If you ask any member of the Evanston vampire community, you’ll find they have something that’s been bothering them: they are getting pretty goddamn tired of spending all their time at Burger King. According to one such vampire, Count Wilhelm Von Terror, the Evanston undead scene lacks nearly all the amenities found in nearly all other cities. “Basically, you have two types of vampire hotspots around the world. There are your old vampire communities like Transylvania, where you spend most