Evanston’s Top 10 Muggers and Their Favorite Mugs
Tag Archives: brothel
All of the Scandal
Evanston Announces Reinstatement of Skipping Ban, Retracts Statement Five Seconds Later
EVANSTON — Evanston officials announced earlier today that an outdated law banning skipping anywhere in the city will be reinstated starting next month. “Anyone found moving in a light, springy manner by bounding forward with alternate hops on each foot will be arrested,” said Jerry Murton, Evanston’s Division Manager of Building and Inspection Services, at a press conference. “Whether the perpetrator is seen skipping in a store, on the street or in their own home, whether they are 6 years old or
Evanston Police Create New Brothel-lizer
EVANSTON – Keeping with the historically progressive nature of the Evanston government, the police department issued a new technique to limit public unrest: the brothel-lizer. The brothel-lizer is an oblong white tube inserted anally to check for brothel residue. “I might not be a proctologist,” said deputy chief Victor Rudo, “but working at the police department has given me plenty of experience fucking kids up the ass.” “Metaphorically,” he added. Evanston officials are considering the addition of a volunteer brothel-lizing
Repentant Berlusconi Opens Brothel for Underprivileged Teenage Girls