As someone whose celebrity crush is Flynn Rider—in his animated form, not like a human-version—I can kind of understand the Bitmoji appeal. But I can’t handle that little bitch being hotter than me, so I need your input.
2007 was really the golden age for a lot of popstars, but none so much as Britney Spears. Sure, she’s done some stuff since, but the only Britney we want has a shaved head and brandishes an umbrella.
THE BOX IN THE BACK CORNER UNDER YOUR BED — Salutations, my dear human. It’s been years since last we met, yet it was you who gave me life, so long ago, on the electronics aisle of Toys-R-Us. It was you whose jelly-covered fingers freed me from the confines of my tamago (that’s the Japanese word for egg, if you ever wondered) with just the press of an irritatingly small button. Nearly three lustra have elapsed since last you fed