“There are about 9 million types of ground-up whitefish in your standard Gefilte,” said new company spokesperson Benjamin Cohenbaum-Goldsteinfarb. “I’m sure at least a few of them live in the Gulf, and I’m sure at least a few of those are Jewish and would appreciate some free supplies to celebrate the festival of lights.”
CHICAGO—Cubs owner Tom Ricketts told the Chicago Tribune that he’s found a new way to bring in revenue to the second highest payroll in Major League Baseball. Instead of fighting for ad space in and around historic Wrigley Field, Ricketts says he can help lessen the effect of declining attendance through walking billboards. “The ushers have always been a part of the unique ‘Friendly Confines’ experience,” a spokesman for the Ricketts family told The Flipside. “Now, they’ll play an even
We All Need to Do Our Part to Save the Ocean By Dr. Floyd M.F. Jenkins British Petroleum, more commonly known as BP, caused a terrible accident this month when their oil rig malfunctioned and began leaking. This is a new breed of oil spill — while earlier incidents (such as the Exxon-Valdez disaster) had a finite quantity of pollutant that was confined to the contents of a tanker, here the oil supply is basically limitless. This leak, which has