Each “inquiry” was immediately transferred to the trash on President Morton Schapiro’s laptop, which he allegedly empties every two hours because he “likes the sound it makes”.
“He claims the buzzing soothes him, but the constant droning has barred me from sleep since this quarter started.”
“People should be very afraid. I haven’t seen a single bee in Tech at all the past few months. No bees in Tech means no honey in Tech. No honey in Tech is a catastrophe!”
“Northwestern’s birds are some of the best and brightest in the school’s history, and if they’re fed up with the cold, it may be best not to leave your Canada Goose back in Santa Barbara.”