Russian Roulette: Disney Announces Every 6th Endgame Screening Will Play Aladdin
Despite the backlash, Disney executives don’t seem to be worried. “What’re they gonna do, not watch a Disney movie? We own everything.”
Despite the backlash, Disney executives don’t seem to be worried. “What’re they gonna do, not watch a Disney movie? We own everything.”
“The entire process is really very simple,” explained a confused Cinemark representative, “we just send you a notification through the Duo app, drop you an quick email, ask you to fill out a supplementary google form, and confirm your identity through carrier pigeon. Everything is for your own security!”
NEW YORK, NY — Carlos Danger, the greatest Internet celebrity since hall-of-fame class act Amanda Bynes, has changed his name in response to the confused and critical responses he received on social media today. The Mexican vigilante and dick-pic-taker extraordinaire felt his identity was severely compromised and degraded when throngs of social media aficionados and standup wannabes criticized his vaguely racially-offensive pseudonym in somewhat more racially-offensive one-liners. “The idea to use my name as the label for the Republican immigration