Tag Archives: Ask Flippy

Ask Flippy: The Doctor Said My Joints are Messed Up. How Do I Show this Clown I Roll the Best?

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Dear Flippy, Last week I went to the doctor for a long-overdue checkup (I’m United Healthcare and figured they probably wouldn’t want to deny my claim). Overall, I’m in good health! My blood pressure is down to 170/100, and my doctor said my weight is in the 95th percentile for my height–which means lower than 95% of the population. How could he tell I’d been dieting? There’s just one problem: He said he was worried about my joints. Something about

Read more Articles, Ask Flippy, Featured, Latest News, No. 399, Uncategorized, Year 17

Ask Flippy: Where Do I Find Valid Shawties Who Will Also Support My Ambitions In Political Science?

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I’m just looking for a valid, down-to-earth betty who can hold my hand, both at Naturdays with the boys and on the campaign trail. Everyone knows you’re a stronger candidate with some hot wife material behind you. Plus, I still haven’t found anyone who’s willing to lay out my clothes the night before like my mom used to do – and also kiss me with tongue the way I hope my mom never does.

Read more Ask Flippy, Featured, Local, No. 350, Year 15

Ask Flippy: Do You Think my Bitmoji is Hotter than Me? I Feel Like my Bitmoji is Hotter than Me. Ok, Fuck-Marry-Kill, ready? Me, my Bitmoji, and Jake from Subway Surfers.

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As someone whose celebrity crush is Flynn Rider—in his animated form, not like a human-version—I can kind of understand the Bitmoji appeal. But I can’t handle that little bitch being hotter than me, so I need your input.

Read more Articles, Ask Flippy, Featured, No. 343, Year 14
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