Stray Animals Attracted to Yowling at WNUR Stage
“We are currently investigating the implications of this incident on the habitats of western Evanston.”
Tag Archives: animals
In Memoriam: Zoboomafoo the Talking Lemur
Community mourns beloved lemur. Contemplates death and 90’s childhood.
Flipside Investigates: Barn Party
Not only were the drunken hoes acting like animals, but there were actual REAL, LIVE ANIMALS present at the event.
Super Bowl Preview: Seahawks Will Fly away with Victory, Gouge out Broncos’ Eyes
The Flipside predicts a 28-21 Seattle victory in Super Bowl XLVIII, based on the fact that sea hawks (Pandion haliaetus) can fly and broncos (Equus ferus caballus) cannot.
More Time Spent Talking to Family Pets than Family
WILMETTE, IL — While attending a Thanksgiving dinner at his cousins’ house, Northwestern Sophomore Ryan Mayled reportedly spent more time talking to his hosts’ pet dogs than to any of his distant relatives. By playing tug-of-war with the two aging Boston Terriers, Mayled successfully managed to avoid even a single venture into the living room where relatives from across the state had assembled to watch football, drink spiced apple cider, and enjoy each other’s company. Following an incredibly awkward dinner
Area Squirrel Won’t Shut Up Outside My Window
NEW YORK EVANSTON — As area Flipside reporter Brian Earl was sitting down to write an article about the impact Hurricane Sandy had on the New York subway system, he was rudely interrupted by a squirrel screeching outside his window. “Hurricane Sandy Ironically Clears Subway Tunnels of Sand,” typed Earl, chuckling to his handsome self, prepared to regale the world with his brilliance. All of a sudden — and mid-word, no less — a squirrel went “MRAAP MRAAP MRAAP!” “How
The Campaign in Review: Musings from Rafalca Romney
Not only could I have done a better job checking Paul Ryan’s math by stamping my left hoof, but I probably could have conveyed a better understanding of the American tax-bracket breakdown based on my observations of barnyard social structure.
Area Pug Depressed, Worried He’ll Never Find Out Who’s a Good Boy
Insomniac Students Mistaken for Raccoons
EVANSTON — Since the beginning of Fall classes, students have reported to the Evanston Animal Control Bureau an alarming increase in the number of large, nocturnal creatures wandering around campus. Many students, aware of the abundance of wildlife in the area, have shrugged these unidentifiable fiends off as raccoons, due to the black circles around the creatures’ eyes. Most witnesses report the raccoons meandering near the library or rolling down the stairs of Tech, leaving trails of graphing paper all