I’m On The Dean’s List, Little Does He Know He’s On Mine Too
I’m going to get that son of a bitch.
Category Archives: Year 17
Breaking: Theatre Kid Pretty Sure “Defying Gravity” is what an Orgasm Feels Like
“I’d only read about it in that book about my changing body my parents gave me when I was 13,” he told Flipside. Although he admits to doing some “online studying” about the subject before he came to Northwestern, he insists that was just so he could be better prepared in case the school put on a production of Cabaret.
Fall Quarter In Review: I Could Die On This Campus And Nothing Would Change
What a quarter this has been. From late nights ripping my hair out behind a bookshelf in Core, to late nights ripping my hair out in the corner of the quiet section in Mudd, I truly feel like I’ve reached the limit of what I’m going to accomplish at Northwestern. This has all brought me to one conclusion: I could die and nothing on this campus would change. If I got rolled over by a steam roller, I’d just be
Ask Flippy: Why did AJ and Big Justice Give Five Big Booms to that Car?
Backstabber. Et tu, AJ and Big Justice?
Never Fucking Leaving: Trudeau Actually Planning to “Put on a Little Makeup” and Re-run for Prime Minister Disguised as Black Politician
Immediately following Trudeau’s resignation as Canada’s Prime Minister, he was spotted stalking up on shades of foundation and concealer that a panicked Sephora representative said “totally did not match his skin tone.”
Trump Appoints Young Sheldon as Head of Homeland Security
Since November 5th, the president-elect has made several controversial picks for top positions, including Elon Musk heading the so-called “Department of Government Efficiency” (DOGE). However, even many in Trump’s inner circle have objected to his latest and boldest choice: a literal fourteen-year-old child as Secretary of Homeland Security. Sheldon Lee Cooper, of Medford, Texas, turned down a Ph.D. in physics at Caltech to join the incoming administration, saying that “the decision was a no-brainer after Meemaw took me to visit
That Gelatinous Cranberry Sauce Is Ribbed For HIS Pleasure
It’s not just that he doesn’t care, it’s that he can’t care. How can he be thinking about whatever you two are this Thanksgiving when we all know that come turkey time, there’s only one thing on a guys mind – getting to feel every rib, bump, lump, jiggle and wiggle of that mysteriously gelatinous cranberry sauce with sensory spots he didn’t even know existed.
Op-Ed: I think we should bring back the guillotine
Wood frame, metal blade, disgruntled French hangman. Back in the days of the French Revolution, these were the three things you needed to kill someone, all compiled into one machine: the guillotine. But the extinction of the guillotine isn’t just about the advancement of weaponry; it is clearly indicative of a more serious problem in society: people these days don’t support blue-collar jobs, and so we need to bring back the guillotine. In the time of the guillotine, killing someone
The Things I’d Do to Get a Tunnel Under This School
While the snow, accelerated by the wind, stabbed me over and over again in the eyes this week, I realized one thing: Northwestern needs a tunnel.
Top 5 AP Classes the Liberal Education System Will Inseminate You With
Ron DeSantis plans to order the Florida National Guard to send everyone who receives a 5 to his personal gulag.