Category Archives: No. 390

I think I’m going to eat a squirrel. They’re looking sumptuous.

It flashes before my eyes. A streak of gray, a small chittering sound, and a set of wide eyes entice me. My mouth waters, soaks in anticipation. I must eat. The hunger consumes me, ravages my body. I am as ravenous as a skeleton waiting for its next indigestible meal. I lock eyes with the creature, my prey. It chomps on its acorn, daring me to bite. Oh squirrel, I must devour you! The sumptuous squirrels on this campus are

Woman Kills Herself While Trying to Unfold Sports Bra Insert

Her housemate Emma Davis claimed that she was supposed to meet Caroline and their friends for dinner.  “Caroline told me over text that she just had to finish folding one of her bras—forty minutes, tops, she said. But then forty minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into three,” Davis said through tears.